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  • Writer's pictureJuniper

From Scattered Chaos to Empowered Wholeness

This morning I caught myself in a moment of chaos. I was printing a sewing pattern, listening to a podcast about the Akashic Records, and scrolling through Facebook with my eyes running over the words but not actually comprehending what they said. When I realized what I was doing I stopped and I asked myself, "What the heck are you doing?" I was all over the place doing all the things, thinking all the thoughts, and getting nowhere.

Shout out to @TracyMontgomery_ who’s post on Scrolling happened to be where my podcast ended and the first Facebook post I actually absorbed. Synchronicity like this gives me such a rush and makes the hairs on my arms stand up.

So what the heck was I doing? What was I hoping to accomplish by doing all these things at the same time? It dawned on me that I was numbing out and so I stopped and started writing.

Before I started numbing out I was thinking about how I didn’t feel like I was showing up the way I wanted to in my life and business. I also didn't start my day like I've gotten used to doing. Typically my morning starts with belly dancing - I love belly dancing! I love the movement & how it makes my body feel. I love the music - I feel it on a soul level. There's just something about it that gets me grounded and raises my vibration at the same time. After belly dance, I like to meditate and for me meditation comes in three forms depending on how I'm feeling.

· Guided Meditation - I use Insight Timer App or even YouTube has some great guided meditations

· Self-Directed Meditation - I start with the intention of accomplishing something specific, and then follow the path as it shows up for me.

· Breath Work – simply laying on the floor and following my breath in and out. I usually do this breathing exercise to clear out space to invite in more of what I want.

After moving my body & clearing my mind I start knocking things off my to-do list. My daily routine helps me start my day feeling grounded, centered, and accomplished. That way when my daughter wakes up she gets the best version of me, and I get the best version of me.

So when I realized that I was numbing out I stopped, closed my eyes, and took three big breaths to center myself. What this does is separate myself from all the external chaos like a reset button.

Do you ever find yourself trying to do all the things? How does it make you feel? I can tell you how I felt; like scattered chaos and I knew exactly how I was going to feel once my little woke up - grumpy & resentful.

Why do we numb out? We numb out because the outside world is overwhelming. We allow what’s going on around us, the things that we can’t control, to become internalized. Basically, we’re letting the chaos in. So what can we do differently? We can do like I did, stop and choose again.

My husband and I have been married for 13 years and early on in our marriage, we were separated for almost a year. I was not handling it very well so I sought out a psychologist and started counseling. One of the things he recommended to me, because I didn’t have control over how this situation with my husband played out, was to find ways to self-soothe.

What is self-soothing? Self-soothing - finding things that help you feel better when you can’t control what’s going on outside of you. For me, back then, it was breathing, hot baths, and learning to belly dance. While my husband and I were separated the only thing I could do was stop contributing to the problem, take responsibility for my part, and learn how to accept the situation for what it was because I couldn’t fix it, I could only fix myself.

So now that I’ve stopped numbing out and took the time to look at why I was doing it the advice from my psychologist still applies. Stop trying to force things to change, accept how things are, focus on what’s in front of you, what’s in your control – You. When you catch yourself numbing out – stop – and focus on things that soothe you. Take care of yourself, love yourself, practice self-compassion, and start your day from a place of empowered wholeness.

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