It’s been almost 3 months since I sat down to write a post for social media. I’ve been embracing the season of darkness, of reflection, of healing, letting go of the outside world, and looking inward. Planting myself into the depths of hibernation to integrate an intense 12-week program I completed just before Christmas.
In the darkness, I embraced rest, after a time of struggle to push through it of course. I surrendered into it, accepting it for what it was, and cleared all the old beliefs that came up, the ones that told me I was being lazy, unproductive, and worthless because I didn’t rise above it but instead chose to dig in deeper. The beliefs that told me I was shutting down, giving up, or failing.
This is a natural cycle of not only the year but also of the deep dive, the other side of pursuing anything that takes your time, focus & energy. Rest is an important part of any journey no matter the kind, giving your body, mind, & soul a break – space to breathe to recharge to ready yourself to expand into your next evolution, to take those next steps of the next leg of the journey.
I haven’t been on social media since November, and I really struggled before that to show up while I was showing up for myself during my 12-week process, so I stopped struggling and gave myself space and grace to go with the flow. I allowed myself to be fully in it.
I wrote in my journal, I painted, I meditated, I grounded deeper within myself. I focused on creating compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for myself. I will openly admit that this is still an ongoing process. One that is never truly finished there is always a new layer of depth to be discovered.
We had some pretty bitterly cold days, a lot of them and I shut out the world and focused on self-care, which for me is quiet, peaceful mornings with hot tea, a meditation, and a cozy blanket. Then when Maya woke up we would dive into crafting, baking, cuddling, watching movies, reading books – you get the picture. Being fully present in my day-to-day life.
I’ve become more in-tune with myself what I need to explore and what I can let go of. Or at the very least I am gaining more clarity as I continue to show up for myself. Make the conscious effort to use my tools and accept that my journey is mine alone and it’s not supposed to look like anyone else’s.
I thought that I was broken, in need of fixing, I resented much about my life and created resistance to the idea that things could truly change for me – through me. But what I discovered is that I am not broken and I am here now fully and completely to plant seeds of possibility. To become an energetic example, to walk through the chaos with my head on my shoulders, my feet firmly on the ground, and my heart wide open.
I am learning, I am growing, I am becoming - stepping into the next iteration of my life as Gaia begins to stir - the energy of spring is starting to bubble up. The light is returning as it always does, longer warmer days are ahead.
Do you want to plant some seeds with me? I am launching my 7 Week Intention Intensive in March. The doors open March 1st and we start March 21st. I will be sending out a link to my subscribers on March 1st so make sure to sign up if you're ready to start sowing some of your own seeds.