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  • Writer's pictureJuniper

Two Kittens & an Inner Child Wound

There are different levels to the things that happen in our lives and something as simple as choosing to adopt a kitten has become a fairly profound experience. I sit here snuggling too sleepy kittens and reflect on how I got here.

Welcome to the Bhandari's boys!

The door opened up for a kitten in October after my husband watched Maya, our four-year-old daughter, play with a friend’s young kitten. We started seriously talking about getting a new feline friend, it has been almost 3 years since my fuzzy sidekick passed away.

I joined my friend Tracy’s 12 weeks Forge Your Own Path*[i] (FYOP) program, around the same time, and the idea of manifesting two kittens became my way of dipping my toes into the practical application by asking for something that didn’t matter.

Please note: This is an oversimplification of the journey I took with Tracy in the FYOP and it was honestly the more empowering healing journey I’ve been on to date. Here is one facet of my personal experience.

1. Gain Clarity

What do I want?

Two kittens from the same litter

Why do I want it?

So they are not alone, more fun, more joy, more shenanigans, companionship, to teach Maya responsibility, more laughter, more love, a way to connect to nature, wrapped up in feline energy, the snuggles.

How do I want to feel?

Joyful, entertained, abundant, silly, childlike, connected, peaceful, complete

If you’re familiar with the manifestation process then you know that this step is very important - attaching emotions to your desire.

As I worked through gaining clarity of what I wanted memories and limiting beliefs began to surface. The first memory was of a fluffy gray kitten on my aunt & uncle’s acreage. I was told by my aunt that I could have a kitten once they were old enough to be away from their mother. I named her and I played with her every time we went to their place. When it was time for my aunt to find them homes my parents told me that I couldn’t have her. I was devastated because I believed my aunt when she said that my parents would let me and not to worry she would talk to them. I allowed myself to believe that she would be mine only to watch as she found another home. This experience taught me that no matter how I felt I wasn’t in control of how the situation played out.

It left a deep and lasting mark - an inner child wounding that wove its way into my subconscious mind.

The other memory was from when I was much younger – it was of me getting my Sear’s portraits done. Something my grandmother did every year with her grandchildren. I remember who I was there with, I remember my point of view from sitting on the floor playing with a stuffed toy kitten. I remember someone tried to take it from me just before it was my turn for pictures. I put up a fight so you can see it in the photo - in some of the other photos that my mom has you can see tears still in my eyes. I don’t recall what happened afterward but I do know that that toy kitten did not come home with me.

Sears Portait - 1982 (Age 2)

These two memories became limiting beliefs that I have carried forward into my adulthood. They became my responsibility to heal and places where I could claim my power.

As an adult, I am now in a place of control and still, I have to be mindful of the limitations being placed on me by my husband’s beliefs. The financial burden, the inability to travel, the challenge of finding a rental property if/when we sell our home. He was also afraid of losing them to illness or old age. All perfectly acceptable but limiting beliefs. The resistance coming to the surface was the idea that my desire manipulated or overrode my husband’s free will.

2. Clearing Statements[ii]

Clearing Statements are just that, clearing what comes up. Reprogramming your subconscious mind to remove limiting beliefs. I find that these statements work more powerfully for me than the Believe Re-patterning process. However, I think they're both equally valuable tools to have in your toolbox.

Some of the clearing statements I wrote to clear the resistance I was feeling.

Anywhere and everywhere that I’ve ever been taught that my feelings don’t matter and that others hold sway over me receiving my desires I destroy and uncreate it all now!

Anywhere and everywhere that I’ve ever believed that two kittens would be a burden on my time or financial capabilities I destroy and uncreate it all now!

Anywhere and everywhere that I have chosen not to focus on what I want because of self-created doubts and limiting beliefs I destroy and uncreate it all now!

Anywhere and everywhere that I’ve ever believed that my wanting something negatively affects another I destroy and uncreate it all now!

Anywhere and everywhere that I’ve ever bought and sold the lie that I’m selfish for wanting more than one kitten I destroy and uncreate it all now!

Adding in some forgiveness of self...

I forgive myself for believing my feelings and desires don’t matter.

I forgive myself for believing that what I want to comes at the expense of others.

3. Empower your desires or intentions with visualization and play the wouldn’t it be nice game.

My visualization basically went like this: I thought about how much fun it would be to have two kittens, how much more joy they would bring to our home. I saw them chasing each other stirring up shenanigans as only kittens can. I saw and heard my daughter’s cries of delight and I saw my husband with his face lit up like a child and laughing. I felt into the joy, the love, and the connection to nature, let it expand in and beyond my heart space. I watched it fill every room of our home with love and light.

This visualization came to mind every time we spoke about the new kitten we were waiting for.

I would play the Wouldn’t it be Nice a couple of times a week…

Wouldn’t it be nice to have the joy of two silly kittens?

Wouldn’t it be nice to fill our home with joy and laughter that only two kittens can bring?

Wouldn’t it be nice if my husband’s view on having two cats shifted?

Wouldn’t it be nice if something amazing happened and we brought two kittens home?

…you get the idea.

The wouldn't it be nice opens you up to possibility, it's limitless and can be used for any situation.

4. Raise your Vibration to become an energetic match for what you desire

The fastest way to elevate your frequency is through authentic gratitude! Just like the visualization and wouldn’t it be nice it’s important when expressing gratitude that you do so in a way that resonates for you. If the energetic alignment isn’t there likely you’ll only sow doubt which unravels your efforts.

My Example:

I am so happy and grateful that my husband agreed to two little kittens, the joy and entertainment they bring to our family is such a blessing!

The final piece fell into place for me just days before we plan to pick up our kitten I became okay with either outcome and accepted that it might not work out. I realized that I was arriving into the space of neutrality, trusting that the universe would provide me with the best possible outcome. I’d ask for what I wanted, cleared all resistance that showed up, and put faith in the Univers that it would conspire on my behalf leaving room for something better.

I was sitting in the office checking things off my mental to-do list to make sure we had everything we needed for our new kitten. I realized that in that moment I found neutrality. I was preparing for one kitten and being okay if that was the outcome. I found the acceptance of what would be and I let go of the fear of failing in front of my classmates. I let go of any attachment to the outcome - I surrendered.

Now, if you’re like me you may see surrender like I did, giving up, the white flag of backing down and letting someone more powerful override your desires. However, in those moments I realized or rather I more fully integrated that surrender is actually allowing what you want. Surrender is how we open up to receiving.

Two days later the following conversation occurred the evening before we were to pick up our kitten;

S: “I feel bad about taking a kitten away from its mother's love.”

J:” I know I felt that way too, but they adapt and these guys are already on solid foods. This is usually why some people choose to take a pair. I’m not suggesting that this is what we should do only that this is one of the reasons why others do.”

That evening we were getting Maya settled into bed and my husband asked her. “If we get two kittens what would you name the second one?”

To say that I was surprised is an understatement I was floored! I never imagined this turn of events. We were getting two kittens and it was his idea! I'd never said a word to him this whole time about what I was calling in.

In the end, I asked for what I wanted, I took responsibility and cleared my limiting beliefs, took aligned action, and left room for the Universe to deliver. BAM!

I now start my mornings with a fuzzy pair of kittens. They remind me of what’s possible, if this is possible what else am I capable of manifesting? They are a tangible expression of my personal empowerment. How can it get any better than this?

Morning snuggles with Phoenix & CW (Cat Whiskers)

The new tools I have learned over the last four months have deepened my understanding of the internal process needed in order to set powerful intentions. On March 1st, I will be launching my Seven-Week Intention Intensive program.

We will be setting intentions in seven key areas Self-Care, Personal Growth, Community (including family & friends), Time, Energy, Money, and Celebration. I am so excited to bring this dream into reality!

I will be sending out a link to all my subscribers - we start on the 21st!

If you have any questions please feel free to reach me either through here or via email, I would love to hear from you.

[i] [ii] Access Consciousness Clearing Statements as taught to me by my teacher.

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